Wednesday, January 29, 2020

Week 3 Story

Long ago in the town of Chile, there lived a prince named Ryan.  Ryan was known throughout the land as the son of King Hugh. He was often known as the troublemaker of the family and the comedian.  He was often sent away on what he thought were “important missions,” but in fact were just errands that his family had wanted him to run. One day his father required him to go away to the town of Cyprus.  So, as Ryan headed off he thought to himself, “I must be the luckiest man alive, my dad always sends me on important missions for the kingdom.”  This time though, unbeknownst to Ryan, his father had sent him away so that he could deal with the evil witch Blake, who was trying to take over the kingdom.
After being on the road for a few weeks Ryan eventually came back to Chile.  What he saw shocked him, there were houses on fire, some that had been burned to the ground, crops were decimated, and the castle looked like it had been at war. Ryan dropped everything that he was carrying and rushed toward his home to see what was happening.  When he arrived all, he saw was carnage.  There were dead bodies everywhere. Some of the soldiers that he had known all his life were laying on the ground covered with cuts and dripping blood. As Ryan entered the hall, he saw his father slumped on his throne lifeless with a pool of blood around his feet.  Ryan eventually reached his father and stood in despair, he cried out, “What has happened here!”  His mother appeared from a concealed comparing in the wall behind the throne and told him that the evil witch Blake and her minions had stormed the castle while was away and destroyed mostly everything.  She went on and said how his father tried to fight them off, but he was eventually overpowered and then stabbed.  As Ryan was listening to this he burned with an intense rage and hatred for this witch and vowed to end her life.
Ryan hastily left the castle and went on search to find the witch.  As he was wandering around the town, he heard people scream out, “Have mercy on us ol’ witch. Please spare our lives.” Ryan went to investigate the noise and what he saw made him shudder.  Standing before him was the most grotesque witch he had ever seen in his life.  Words couldn’t even begin to describe what she looked like.  Eventually the witch turned back to her victims and started inflicting torture. As Ryan was creeping up behind her he realized that he did not have a weapon to slay her. He noticed out of the ornery of his eye that there was a little knife by the edge of the burnt down house he was creeping behind.  He grabbed it and then made his way toward Blake.  As soon as he was in position he lunged at her and stabbed the knife right through her throat. Blood was gushing out and the witch turned around and looked at him in shock and then fell down dead.  Ryan was praised as a hero and eventually took possession of the crown and became king of Chile.  Every month on the day that he was father and the towns people were murder the kingdom holds a celebration of life to remember those who had passed.

Bharata fainting at his fathers Cremations. (January 28, 2018)
Reitberg Museum. Source: Wikicommons



Authors Note: I felt for this story I kind of wanted to give some more backstory about what had happened while Ryan was away form the city. In the original story all that we know is that Bharata returns and his father has been killed.  With this new story I wanted to portray how he was killed, and I wanted the main character to get exact his vengeance on the one that destroyed his family. I also excluded the brother from the story because I feel that he added no real value. I also wanted to give the story a happier ending than the mysterious one that was given.

Bibliography: Gibbs, Laura. Bharata Returns. Bharata Returns

6 comments:

  1. Hey Andrew! Why Chile? While I was reading i was trying to find the significance of Chile. However, Your story was a good one. It felt like a story out of the bible at first, it provided that righteousness of revenge for a love one and the suspense of an epic tale. Good work on your story!

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  2. Hi Andrew! I really enjoyed your story and the depth you added to Ryan's character. I also enjoyed that you added a backstory for the King's death. I feel like this story also provided closure for the King's when Ryan ultimately killing the witch as revenge, then having a day to remember the lives lost every month. Great story!

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  3. Hello Andrew. This was a very interesting take on the story of Bharata's return. I really enjoyed reading this version of events and you did a good job on making it your own story. I do agree with the first comment and wonder if there's a significance of placing the story in Chile? I also noticed at least one misplaced comma. I find reading the story aloud really helps with catching mistakes. Hopefully that's a helpful tip.

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  4. Hello Andrew,

    I love the addition of a backstory! It really added to the original character and helps make them more of a main focus rather than a background character (which is kind of how I felt most of the characters were in the source material). I also like the happier ending. It gives closure to the character which further helps cement them as an actual character. I also love how descriptive you are when you're setting the scene, really helps the reader visualize what is going on.

    All in all, great story! I don't have any changes to suggest. I had a lot of fun reading this and I can't wait for your future stories!

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  5. Hi Andrew,
    Great story! I enjoyed the conflict of the story and I am glad everything sorted itself out and Ryan saved the kingdom! I am a sucker for happy endings. You had great detail, and I was able to visualising him creeping up on the witch and stabbing her! I think the depth you added to the character was helpful! Great work!

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  6. Hi Andrew,
    I think you did a great job of giving more to Bharata’s story. As an individual, Bharata deserves to get resolution to his troubles as well. This was incredibly gory, Tarantino. I think it would have been interesting if you would have made Ryan’s mother be the witch somehow. It was Bharata’s mother that kind of caused all these issues in the Ramayana.

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