Once upon a time there was this mischievous little kid only named as Luke. He was known around the town of Errandale as a trickster and a bully. No one knew who his parents were, he was often seen running around town in the same clothes he had on the week before. Nobody ever paid attention to him, he would usually bully the little children were playing outside. All the time he seemed to get away with whatever mischievous little thing he was doing. All his tricks seemed harmless until one fateful day.
The Day of The Fire
Luke was wandering around one fateful Autumn day when he came across what he thought was an abandoned farmhouse at the edge of town. Now, Luke had seen this farm house a couple of times and he was always intrigued by how tall a fire would be if the building somehow caught on fire. Now unbeknownst to everyone in town Luke loved playing with fire because he was a pyromaniac. That same Autumn day Luke was walking by the farm house he decided that night he would set it on fire. He waited until the sun went down then went with his little lighter and stared to gather some dead leaves. He stacked the leaves and dry twigs he had gathered outside the barn door at both ends. When he though the coast was clear he proceeded to light the brush, he had collected on fire. As the fire started to engulf the building he suddenly heard screaming and coughing from inside the barn. He started to panicky because he though that no one was inside and that it was just abandoned. Without thinking Luke made his way to the side of the barn and as he was trying to find a way in he saw that there was a couple of rotten boards. He ran over to them and started to kick them out and eventually they broke. He crawled through as fast as he could and when he was inside he saw that a family of four had been living there. He rushed up to the father and told him that he had a way they could escape. Luke led the family through the boards and out to safety.
As the family started to hug one another the father asked Luke, “Where is your family son?”
Luke couldn’t reply because he was a mute, but he started to right out in the dirt that he was an orphan and his family had been burned to death by an evil with. The old man thanks him profusely and give him a long hug after learning what had happened to his family. He then proceeded to ask Luke if he would like to live with them for the rest of his life and Luke’s eyes teared up. No one had ever been nice to him and people had always treated him with disgust. He finally found somewhere he belong and from that day forward, Luke acted like a model citizen and never caused any more trouble.
Barn of Fire. (NA)
NA. Source: Pexels
Authors: I took this story from The House of Fire. I changed a considerable amount. I wanted this story to be way different than what was shown in the original. I didn’t want anyone to die and I wanted to give the main character a sad backstory that explained why he was the way he was. In the original story the people inside the house that caught fire and I wanted Luke to be able to save them in this one. It gives his character a kind of redeeming quality that was missing. I know Luke never tells them he set the fire, I wanted to leave that up into interpretation for the reader to decide if he ever told them.
Bibliography: Gibbs, Laura. The House of Fire. The House of Fire
Hi Andrew,
ReplyDeleteI liked your story. I like when characters have redeeming qualities. Maybe you could have mentioned Luke’s backstory earlier on. Starting from the beginning, I thought Luke was just some crazy little kid, but perhaps he was acting out for attention. Also, I just finished watching Frozen 2, so when I saw that the kid was from “Errandale” I was like “whoa is this gonna be some story about fire and ice?”
Hi Andrew,
ReplyDeleteI haven't read "The House of Fire." You have me intrigued now. I clicked on your notes for the story. You did a great job articulating what you didn't like about the story in your notes, so it made sense why you chose the changes you made in the story.
If you use this as one of your final project stories, I suggest making your notes post part of your author's note.
You have good bones for the backstory. Abuse and neglect are common factors in pyromaniacs, but watching your family die in a fire and becoming homeless would definitely do it. Plus, he was neglected by his community. If you want to build out Luke's backstory more to fit an arsonist profile, I suggest listening to the podcast Wine and Crime's second episode titled: "Arson." Lucy goes into the psychology behind arsonists, and the ladies who make the podcast are fun to listen to.
My big question/critique is how does Luke tell the family how to get out of the burning house if he is mute?
Your story arc is great. You give enough background for Luke to make him a round character. The rising action is very descriptive, and articulating Luke's surprise and panic identifies the central conflict of the story. The climax is exciting, and the rotten boards that give way for the escape route make sense. The falling action is sweet, it definitely pulls on the heart-strings. I like that you leave the audience not knowing if the family knew that Luke set the fire. By not completely resolving the story, you leave room for the audience to wonder if Luke told them and debate over how the family's response to Luke gives clues to whether or not they know.
Questions to consider if you build out Luke's background: How little (young) is he? How does he know how to write? How long has he been on his own? Is his name really Luke, or is that just a name that the community gave to him?
Thanks for sharing!
-Eden
Hi Andrew,
ReplyDeleteAwe this story is so sweet! At first, reading this story, I was a little concerned about how the ending would go! I literally thought the family would die and he would just regret it for the rest of his life by the way you described his character at the beginning. You said Luke told the family that he could get him out, but he's mute. How does this happen?