Present Day
John’s men seemed to be more skilled and proficient at fighting, while Devin’s men seemed to be struggling. In John’s heart he knew he should stop the fighting, but he was afraid that if he did then Devin would try to sneak attack him. As John was fighting he came across Devin.
John yelled, “Devin, stop this madness! There is no need for us to fight. We were like Brothers once.”
Devin responded, “Yes we WERE brothers, but now I have nothing but anger for what you did to me! The only thing that will cease this anger is your death.”
John knew that unless he did something the battle would only end when everyone was dead. So, John, being the respectable and manly man that he was, he laid down his sword.
He said to Devin, “Strike me down if you must, but your anger will always linger.”
Devin looked at him with hatred in his eyes but lowered his sword.
He said, “You maybe right…”and then he proceeded to swing his sword at Johns head. As John saw the sword heading toward him he closed his eyes. The next thing that either of them knew, the sword broke in half on John’s neck. Devin stared in disbelief as he looked at the hilt of his sword.
When John opened his eyes, he looked at Devin with sadness and said, “Hate will never beat the light Devin. Now go home and leave all this anger behind you.”
Devin was so startled he had no idea what to do. As soon as John spoke to him something inside of him let go of the hate and he just crumpled to the ground in tears.
As John walked away from Devin he said, “I will always be here for you my friend. If you decide you ever want to talk more amicably.”
Rama and Ravana fighting. (February 28, 2018)
Gita Press Gorakhpur. Source: Wikicommons
Authors Note: I wanted to tell the story of Rama fighting Ravana. Even though Rama is victorious, I wanted this story to show compassion and that violence and death are not always the answers. I also wanted to change the backstory of why the two were fighting. I also wanted there to be some dialogue to show John (Rama) as a objector to the fight and one of the most compassionate people. Devin (Ravana) represents the anger that festers inside someone if left uncheck.
Bibliography: Gibbs, Laura. The Divine Archer. The Divine Archer
Hi Andrew!
ReplyDeleteFirst of all, I love how you made modern-day twists on this traditional Ramayana episode. From the beginning, it almost seems like it is a soap opera with some of the diction you use. I think the emotions of jealousy are very powerful drivers in stories, just like this one. I love how you use the emotional baggage to develop and preface the state of mind within the characters you use. Your author's note does a great job showing your inspiration and origin for this story, but I would suggest making a more detailed summary of the original plot. This will help readers, just like me, compare and contract differences you made in your own story.
When reading, I was a little confused on the source that which the sword broke. Was it the power of John's moral compass or was a supernatural, spiritual factor? The quotes you use are very powerful and beautiful, but what connected these statements to the outcomes of the fight exactly?
I loved your fresh perspective, and I can't wait to read more!
Hey Andrew!
ReplyDeleteI was so happy to see your story pop up, This one one of my favorite parts of the Ramayana! Rama and Ravana just seemed to be forced into this confrontation and I really enjoyed how you pulled all the details needed for this story into you version. I was a little taken aback by the emphasis on brother. Even though Rama is compassionate, I never really thought about them as brothers or having any kind of connection that way. Also looking at Shary Bouvette's comment, I have to agree, The sword breaking as it did seemed very sudden, who do you think it broke the way it did?
Best,
Chris.
Howdy Andrew, hope all is well. This is a solid telling of the struggle between Rama and Ravana; I thought your use of the ever-dramatic love triangle was handled very well. It was interesting having the little insight into their backstory, understanding the evolution of John and Devin as individuals as well as the decomposition of their relationship a nice touch. It was helpful to understand their motivations a bit more than we otherwise would have, but I would be curious to know a bit more about why John chose to engage if he knew his men would be dominant? If John had the stronger forces and didn’t have the drive to end the conflict, it would seem rational to just defend a point rather than engage in a skirmish which he would not be able to abandon without making himself and his troops vulnerable to sabotage or ambush. Either way, this was a fun read.
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